Yeah!!!!!!!! Survived yet another fucking Mother`s Day. How was your experience?? Mine, another typical day, kids fucking spilling shit everywhere, sons/daughters/husbands pissed that they "didn`t know they needed reservations" and causing mild scenes to cover up for their stupidity.
"What do you mean you don`t have specials for Mother`s Day" one table asked me. Before I tell you what I said, let me tell you, this question came at the tail end of my 8 hour shift and needless to say my level of patience and tolerance were questionable at best. My reply was, "it isn`t our responsibility to make Mother`s Day special"..................................fucking ouch, after those words left my mouth I began to shudder at the thought of having to begin a search for another job when the guest complained to my owner.
But fear not, truth is, as we all know, like Valentine`s Day, for many, Mother`s Day is a day of amends for those whom have neglected their poor, dear, Tapioca Pudding loving Mother`s and indeed, tis not my problem or issue that their Mother has been treated poorly.
Needless to say, I went home, called my Mother, made sure she received my card, wished her another Happy Mother`s Day wish, simple as that. Do the right fucking thing 365 days a year folks, and you won`t look like such assholes when your scrambling around looking for somewhere to take dear Mum without reservations.
Next up........................let`s talk tipping...............or lack thereof
Crackerjack
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Are you ready?? Mothers Day Mayhem
I hope all my serving/cooking friends are getting their well earned rest. Every year, we have a little recognition for our Mother`s which is well deserved. Traditionally, taking Mum out for Brunch/Lunch/Dinner has been the well travelled route to go and this year will be no different.
As much as I love my Mother, love that one half of our parental leaders are celebrated, it is also, hands down, my least favourite of "special days" to work. It isn`t because I can`t make solid coin (which ultimately is what I do this for), it isn`t because the restaurant isn`t busy. I have just noticed, more so in most recent years, that these family love-ins have become one massive ball of stress for all involved.
Often, this is THE chance to make up for the blunders of the previous 364 days leading into our Mother`s great day. The child who doesn`t call/visit Mommy dearest enough, finds that their phone is far too heavy for a daily, weekly, monthly call etc...So this is their chance, dress to the nines, take Mum out for a meal.....................and let the sucking up begin!! I would wager (one of my weak tips) I can tell you the dynamic of each family within about 2 minutes of approaching the table, introducing the specials, offering proverbial Happy Mother`s Day greeting. The son who`s vein on his forehead is about to burst with tension, the daughter who feels the angst, guilt and pain of a failed marriage that Mum hasn`t/can`t or won`t stop reminding her of. The Husband/Wife who have been married for years yet have nothing left to say, haven`t had a meaningful conversation in years, and physically...well, I need not go there.
Then there is the "Inheritance Clan", those kids who, for one reason, and one reason only (you know who you are), are only interested in these days for the sole purpose of being able to hit mum with the "I was there for you" claim when it comes time to sign on the bottom line finalizing whom gets what when dear Mum passes on to a better place. Laugh or disbelieve if you will, I`ve heard it all, seen it all, I have, and I kid you not, seen a living will signed, over coffee, at a table I served years ago. NICE, butter Mum up with Crepes, finish her off with some Tapioca pudding, them WAMMO, hit her with that nice monogrammed pen you bought for her and proclaim, "look what I brought to the party", reaching in the suspicious briefcase you have brought along with you for brunch. Blindsided Mums everywhere.
Mom needs the best table, Mom needs an absolutely perfect meal for a perfect Mom, Mom needs to be coddled, loved, treated like Gold............for many families, this occurs for a full year on a daily basis, for many, this happens for one day only, Mother`s Day. The family tensions that occur in every family are magnified on Mother`s Day, not sure why, Father`s are easy to please, hand dad a sleeve of Titleist golf balls and a bottle of Rum and he`s good to go, Mum, needs to be nurtered and loved and buttered up. For an aware server, all this fluff, fake smiles from the Grandkids who can`t wait until the meal is over when it`s Grandma/Grandpa`s time to slip em` that $20 bill every time they get together, it all spells one thing...Bullshit.
So, I`m going to smile, laugh at lousy jokes, say all the right things, then I`m going to come home, call home, and wish Mum a Happy Mother`s Day, and make sure she received her card, which is, ultimately what all Mother`s want, to be acknowledged.
Happy Mother`s Day
Crackerjack
As much as I love my Mother, love that one half of our parental leaders are celebrated, it is also, hands down, my least favourite of "special days" to work. It isn`t because I can`t make solid coin (which ultimately is what I do this for), it isn`t because the restaurant isn`t busy. I have just noticed, more so in most recent years, that these family love-ins have become one massive ball of stress for all involved.
Often, this is THE chance to make up for the blunders of the previous 364 days leading into our Mother`s great day. The child who doesn`t call/visit Mommy dearest enough, finds that their phone is far too heavy for a daily, weekly, monthly call etc...So this is their chance, dress to the nines, take Mum out for a meal.....................and let the sucking up begin!! I would wager (one of my weak tips) I can tell you the dynamic of each family within about 2 minutes of approaching the table, introducing the specials, offering proverbial Happy Mother`s Day greeting. The son who`s vein on his forehead is about to burst with tension, the daughter who feels the angst, guilt and pain of a failed marriage that Mum hasn`t/can`t or won`t stop reminding her of. The Husband/Wife who have been married for years yet have nothing left to say, haven`t had a meaningful conversation in years, and physically...well, I need not go there.
Then there is the "Inheritance Clan", those kids who, for one reason, and one reason only (you know who you are), are only interested in these days for the sole purpose of being able to hit mum with the "I was there for you" claim when it comes time to sign on the bottom line finalizing whom gets what when dear Mum passes on to a better place. Laugh or disbelieve if you will, I`ve heard it all, seen it all, I have, and I kid you not, seen a living will signed, over coffee, at a table I served years ago. NICE, butter Mum up with Crepes, finish her off with some Tapioca pudding, them WAMMO, hit her with that nice monogrammed pen you bought for her and proclaim, "look what I brought to the party", reaching in the suspicious briefcase you have brought along with you for brunch. Blindsided Mums everywhere.
Mom needs the best table, Mom needs an absolutely perfect meal for a perfect Mom, Mom needs to be coddled, loved, treated like Gold............for many families, this occurs for a full year on a daily basis, for many, this happens for one day only, Mother`s Day. The family tensions that occur in every family are magnified on Mother`s Day, not sure why, Father`s are easy to please, hand dad a sleeve of Titleist golf balls and a bottle of Rum and he`s good to go, Mum, needs to be nurtered and loved and buttered up. For an aware server, all this fluff, fake smiles from the Grandkids who can`t wait until the meal is over when it`s Grandma/Grandpa`s time to slip em` that $20 bill every time they get together, it all spells one thing...Bullshit.
So, I`m going to smile, laugh at lousy jokes, say all the right things, then I`m going to come home, call home, and wish Mum a Happy Mother`s Day, and make sure she received her card, which is, ultimately what all Mother`s want, to be acknowledged.
Happy Mother`s Day
Crackerjack
Friday, April 30, 2010
Welcome Industry Slaves!!!
Well, for a long time now, after more than too much time in this industry, I needed an outlet for my frustrations, anger, hatred for this business in ways that didn`t involve a penchant for forgetting the night before by seeking refuge found in the bottom of a bottle or inhaling fumes far more mind altering than my favourite brand of cigs.
This blog is for servers, kitchen staff, or anyone in this insane industry. Anyone looking to rant their way to sanity is welcome, don`t be shy, don`t be politically correct for my sake. You feel like swearing, swear, you feel like yelling (albeit through words), do so. Share your stories of assholes you have served, douchbags you have worked with or for. Get rid of that garbage your holding in the pit of your stomach, don`t go Jim Carrey on us as he showed in Me, Myself and Irene, suddenly combust at the drop of a hat. Fuck that, let it out.
I will not be sharing my name, where I work, what you do is your business, what we do for a living, whether it`s a career, or a means to an end, needs to be heard. I could care less if you think your story, comments, feelings are too harsh, too sickening, bring it on, and bring it now. I`ll be back tomorrow, can`t wait to see what kind of entitled dickheads I wait on tonight.
Why am I still in this business if I hate it????? Addiction, I`m addicted to the chase of the big tip, I`m addicted to the insanity of the business, I`m addicted to shit I haven`t seen, haven`t heard of, haven`t tried yet. I live in Halifax, love to hear some local stories, let`s give one another heads up to oncoming assholes, or fantastic guests. Let`s warn about owners who in an unscrupulous world, take the cake.
Till next time.
Crackerjack
This blog is for servers, kitchen staff, or anyone in this insane industry. Anyone looking to rant their way to sanity is welcome, don`t be shy, don`t be politically correct for my sake. You feel like swearing, swear, you feel like yelling (albeit through words), do so. Share your stories of assholes you have served, douchbags you have worked with or for. Get rid of that garbage your holding in the pit of your stomach, don`t go Jim Carrey on us as he showed in Me, Myself and Irene, suddenly combust at the drop of a hat. Fuck that, let it out.
I will not be sharing my name, where I work, what you do is your business, what we do for a living, whether it`s a career, or a means to an end, needs to be heard. I could care less if you think your story, comments, feelings are too harsh, too sickening, bring it on, and bring it now. I`ll be back tomorrow, can`t wait to see what kind of entitled dickheads I wait on tonight.
Why am I still in this business if I hate it????? Addiction, I`m addicted to the chase of the big tip, I`m addicted to the insanity of the business, I`m addicted to shit I haven`t seen, haven`t heard of, haven`t tried yet. I live in Halifax, love to hear some local stories, let`s give one another heads up to oncoming assholes, or fantastic guests. Let`s warn about owners who in an unscrupulous world, take the cake.
Till next time.
Crackerjack
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